I go on this app whisper to meet and talk to new people because like hell I’m going to do that in real life. So I start having these awesome conversations that I thought could never happen because of my shitty personality but people seem to like it for some reason then shit starts happening. After what seems like hours of talking to them they ask for a picture of me and I’m just like “WTF?” in my head because it comes out of no where. I mean if you like having a conversation with me does it really matter what I look like? But they are so persistent and say things like
-“I don’t care what you look like”
-“I won’t ignore you”
-“I already like you for so it won’t matter what you look like”
So I reply to them by saying “Fine I’ll send you a picture of me but if you don’t like what I look like and ignore me you could have prevented me from getting me feelings hurt like I just got ran over by a car”. They just say “I won’t”. You know what I do? I send them a picture actually believing what they told me was true, believing that this time it will be different and that they won’t ignore me because they don’t like the way I look because we have been getting along so well. Guess what happens come on guess… fine I’ll tell you. They IGNORE the shit out of me. This is why I don’t like sending people pictures of me or telling them what I look like because humans are the literal WORST SPECIES ON THIS GODFORSAKEN PLANET. I mean if you like my personality why the fuck do you care what I look like? From now on anytime some online asks me what I look like or to send them a picture of me I’m just going to ignore them and delete their message because I am sick of being ignored for what I look like. Why are humans so goddamn judgmental its not my fault I look like I do. I can’t wait to die so I can get away from all these people who judge you based on something that you can’t change. So I’ll leave it to your imagination what I look like because if i showed you that no one would probley read this blog. Ta ta peasants.
I am such a bitch to everyone. So I’ve been talking to this guy I met on whisper and we totally hit it off but I had to go off and ruin everything because I’m a complete and total waste of human life. I pushed him away until he no longer talked to me and why did I do this you ask, absolutely no reason. I just feel like when I get to know someone and they actually think that they might like me that I need to push them away before they realize what a big mistake they’ve made. I’m not worth their efforts or tears I’m not worth their time. There’s over a billion other people in this world that are 1000 times better then I will ever be. So if any of the guys I’ve talked to ever read this just know that I’m sorry I wasted your time by being a complete and total bitch. I hope you guys find someone who is actually worth your time and efforts and isn’t just a total bitch to you for no reason. I know I’m probley the only one ever going to read this but at least now I know why I don’t deserve anything but the loneliness that consumes me everyday.
I’m the most random person ever. One second I’ll be thinking about sex or food then the next second I’ll be screaming at the top of lungs and making animal noises around my house. My parents think I’m so weird when I do this and I don’t blame them. I’m just always so bored so I do strange things to entertain myself. For example if I’m home alone and I know people won’t be home for awhile I just think ” time to go masterbate” even though I’m not horny at all(which is rare). I think I might be crazy or something. On the contrary I could just need some human interaction but as you probably know by now that’s not going to happen. I need someone to please come save me before I go mad😫😖
P.S I literally almost typed in my real name on here. If my parents found out I’d be sent to a purifying camp to “rid me of my sins” as they would say.🙄😆 anyways ta ta!😘
Sometimes I sit down and think to myself am I really submissive? Sure I’m easily munipulated by others into doing things or I’ll feel bad but I just don’t know if I am. I don’t know if I started wanting to be submissive before or after reading 50 shades of grey it’s kind of all a blur. It would be really stupid if that was the reason that I think I am or want to be submissive. I know one thing for certain though and that is that I want to be controlled I crave it actually. This is probley because my life has no control so I feel that if I was in a relationship I’d want whoever I was in the relationship with to take charge because I am the most indecisive person ever. Whenever I’m at the store with my mom and she asks me which cereal I think she should get I literally could care less and always say I don’t care. I read so much wattpad stories(you know the ones😏) and I get so sucked into them and wish that my life was like that but sadly it’s not. People who are possessive, obsessive or controlling just really intrigue and turn me on for some reason. When I say I like people who like having control I mean it in all aspects of themselves even when talking to someone online. I hate those people who say that they like to control yet let you walk all over them I mean if you were seriously controlling there’s no way in hell you would let me get away with pulling that shit. Well that’s what’s been on my mind latley.
I am literally the most sexually repressed person ever. I am so horny all the time but there’s nothing I can do about it because I am such an antisocial freak. You might be thinking why not just go find someone online to roleplay with.. Here’s the thing that’s BORING as fuck. I want the real thing not some made up shit I have to pretend that I’m enjoying to make some stranger feel better. I sometimes wish I would just go out in the world and try to actually meet someone but then I remember humans are the most horrible species on this planet. I wish some alians from another planet would just come down and take me away with them so that I could live with them and learn their ways. Sure they might shove probes up my ass but that’s a little price to pay for getting a free pass off this miserable hunk of rock. Anyways back to the topic at hand… When you’ve seen as much porn as I have nothing fazes you. Two people could literally be having sex in front of me and I’d just tell them to move out of the way so I can see the TV. It’s weird that I know so much about sex and picture having it every single day of my life but would run the hell away if someone even offerd to take my virginity. Masterbation does the tick but really is just a chore after awhile. It’s not my fault I feel this way all the time but as Lady Gaga would say I was born this way. Anywhore off to pretend to be satisfied with this boring as hell life I have. Xoxo gossip girl just kidding(I might be a little obsessed with that show…just a little).
As I go through life and see the things I do I stand and wonder why humanity is such shit. The more I live and the more I see the more I want to die. People always judging you based on your appearance or sexuality just blows my mind. How others think that it is their place to judge you based on your life choices and the way you act. I have yet to see the day something bad doesn’t happen to innocent people just living their lives. Mabey this is the universes crude way of proving a point but who knows. For now I guess I’ll just wait for the day this world comes crashing down on humanity and its disgusting ways.