I think I know the reason that I’m going to be forever alone. I care too much. I care so much that I get obsessed and that makes people back off before I get to show them the real me. The real me is the most loyal person you’ll ever meet. I will put your life before my own because I am merely a vesile to be used for making other people’s lives as comfortable as possible. I just wish I could control the way I act when I truly like someone but sadly I can’t and I don’t think I will ever be able to. So please don’t give up on me because I know that I will never give up on you.
I just found out that the guy I gave my first blowjob to just used me. He dident like me at all and that was all he wanted. So guess what I did?I dident scream I dident cry I went straight into my hallway closet and got a razor. I took it apart and sliced his name into my arm while laughing. Now as i am typing this my arm stings but it’s better then nothing I guess. I suck at trying to get over people but people obvously have an easy time getting over me. So thank you Brandon your name will forever be engraved in my skin. I’m off to be an emo twat now ta ta.
After seeing “The Huntsman: Winters War” I’ve come to relize that people are just pawns in the game of life and that those who overcome the binds and weaknesses are the ones with the real power. I have been spending the last couple of days obsessing over some guy I think I gave a blowjob to (it was my first time). I have been texting him non-stop and he hasent replied once. He told me that he liked me but that was obvously bullshit. After that movie I relized that love is the greatest weakness and that the only thing it does is hold you back from your true potential. So I’ve decided to stop loving anyone ever again(exept my parents of course). I have also relized that obsessing over people ruins me and makes me weak and willing to do whatever they want me to do to keep them intrested. That’s all for now peasents.
I am so depressed and sad. I just quit my first job which I regret so deeply and I can’t change Jack shit about it. This guy who I thought liked me just blocked me on Facebook for no reason but then again who would really like me anyways. My personality is shit but
I’ll be loyal until the end but I guess no one wants that do they. I will do whatever anyone wants but i guess thats useless in this world. Fuck people ill just go back to being a sad and depressed loser.