Waiting For The End

So I’ve been contemplating changing the title of my blog now that life has turned around but I don’t think I will. This blog started off as a way for me to vent and talk about my experiences  throughout my teenage to adulthood and it will continue to be that. I’ve come to realize that waiting for the end can have multiple meaning. In the beginning it was meant to be about waiting for death and all the fun emotions that came with that. Now I think that it could be Interpreted as I was waiting for the end of my suffering so that I could be where I am now if that makes sense. The meaning of the  it will continue to change though the different fazes of my life and thats ok. My writing skills and run on sentences have not improved but I will continue to try to get better so what I say makes more sense. Thank you for reading my blog and have a wonderful day and a beautiful life❤❤

-PandaQueen12

Turning a new leaf

Hello all its me again. As you can probley see I’ve taken all of my post old posts down( well put them in my drafts). I’ve done this because for the first time in my life I am not waiting for the end. I think I’ve finally become content with my life and I want to enjoy it and see where it goes.

At the beginning of October I started dating this man who I can honestly see a long term future with. He treats me like a queen and makes me so unbelievable happy that I can’t even remember why I even let anyone treat me any other way. He listens to me and helps me through all my emotional rollercoasters and doesn’t make feel bad for having them.

If someone in the past had told me that all the things I went though would bring me to this point in my life I would go though all of it over again. I never knew anyone could love me and make me feel so great that the negative thoughts would become irrelevant but here we are. He has helped me get through the death of my grandma and doesn’t make me do anything I don’t want to. He will literally spend all day inside with me watching movies and cuddling. It’s only been 3 months but I hope that it lasts a lifetime.

Thank you for all of the advice and kind words. I know at the time I didn’t listen to any of it and just focused on my sad intrusive thoughts and feelings but you guys never stopped helping me. Again thank you for reading and I hope you all have a wonderful day and a beautiful life❤❤

-PandaQueen12